12:53 a.m. - 2008-03-16
You're not mine.
Sometimes I feel like I never left and I can just sink right back into this life. I can kick off my flipflops and drive around in circles forever and spend eternity at the beach. Pittsburgh will never know smiles like these. It will never know me at my absolute best, but I'm okay with that. The wind here can't even begin to freeze my heart and my fingers can still bend and wrap into little fists, but fists on excitement, not anger. It's like I can't control all of the energy I feel and it's so much that my fingers just wrap into themselves because that is the feeling of limitless love and friendship. I can't help feeling like I need to use every minute of every day to it's very maximum carrying capacity. I can't get enough of this. I can't seem to soak it all in to its full depth. I feel the earth beneath my feet!
It never occurs to me that other people have insecurities too. I don't why. I just always assume that I'm the one at fault and they'll never want to talk to me again, but when the situation is in reverse, it is difficult for me to wrap my mind around.
But I'm listening to old and wonderful Rilo Kiley, so it's great.
The events of the past twenty-four hours need to be remembered. They just are essential to season and to my efforts for the month.
Wonderful mini road trip.
-Watertown
-UMB
-Miley Cyrus?
-Wendy's
No flipflops.
Nan's.
JImmy's for lunch avec Devin&Sash.
Beach.
-Vulture birds
- Insane waves that write instructions for excitement and anticipation
- Exceptionally gloomy
Fort Revere
-Acapella/Rockapella
- pictures
- Wonderful wind
Dollar Tree
-Prayer hands
-Chocolate Crosses
- M&Ms
Matt's Birthday
-So many congratulations
-So many hugs
-So many people who I made "proud"
-My picture is on the wall?
- More pictures taken of me and my cousin?
Out with Laura
-Haven't really hung out since Thanksgiving, so totally wonderful
- Caught up on everything
-Talked incessantly
-Laughed ridiculously
- She smokes and her favorite is whiskey
- Drove around endlessly and mostly aimlessly except to visit our bridge
- Saw Katie, Tricia, and Sam at DD and caught up with them. Katie is going to call me with plans with Jenny- hopefully!
- Ended up at Barnes & Noble- laughed more then I have in a long time
- Headed home and tried to leave again, but who do I call at 11:30?
Came to the realization that I'm so out of the loop and I have no idea what other peoples' schedules are now. When do you wake up and go to sleep and when are good calling times and what music are you listening to and what did you do today and why did rilo kiley get so un-enjoyable?
Tonight was totally a night for Glendora. And Paul Simon. I just hope that makes sense.
I don't know how to fully show my appreciation for everything I have, but I am so grateful that this is my life and it is filled with these people. I have missed this feeling, so, so much. But when this week is over, I'll just try to remember this for the next five years.
I am unreasonable though. I'm afraid that when I live there year round for three years, people will just ...forget. Sounds so self absorbed and maybe it is. I'm not sure, really. I just can't imagine my life without these people. But how do we determine who and what is worth waiting three years for? I'll just have to cross that bridge when i get to it.
Even the moon knows I'm totally in my element tonight.
