5:57 p.m. - 2013-12-31
So this is the New Year
2013 was a year of disappointment, a year of struggle, a year of impatience. It was a year of humility and striving for a humble soul and never faltering faith. It was a year of tears. It was also a year of great accomplishment, finding friends where I least expected to and realizing how important it is to each of us to have someone who has "got your back." It was a year of giant leaps of faith, agreeing to take on another solo adventure and finally embracing the power that comes with being alone. It was a year of mastering small talk, curing diseases, dispensing an encouraging word, or calming another suffering from the tornado within. It was the year of paying back and starting over, the year of changing from a mindset of negativity to really believing miracles can happen. It was the year of seeing how truly beautiful, kind, and empathetic others can be, and learning the humility required to accept that. It has been a year of growth and learning and loving as well as heartbreak, bitterness, and pacts made with myself, to myself, to protect against repetition. It has been a year of too much tequila and wine and too little friendship to chase it down with. A year of taking chances, solo dance parties in my car on long drives, and spending more money in 5 months than I think I have ever even owned. It has been a year of home sickness, tea and pictures to soothe the pain, and more phone calls home than I can count. A year of moving forward, of owning my dreams, of accepting setbacks and making plans for the future that will inevitably never work out and realizing that is ok with me. A year of being happy for, and maybe a little jealous of so many, but knowing deep down that's not my story; that's not my fairytale. A year of being so thankful for a best friend who just "gets" that and just "gets" me. It has been a year of acceptance, growth, and love. A year of starting over, taking baby steps, working towards forgiveness, and agreeing to give myself a break every once in a while. Most importantly it has been a year of "just keep swimming" and accepting that I can honestly only do the best I can and that will have to be good enough for everyone else.
