7:00 p.m. - 2009-02-19
we will be forever, perhaps not young
I keep having this same conversation in my head, with others, but mostly with God and while it is tearing me apart, i'll be strong for them, for you, for her- because she is strong for me.
Broke down at crossroads.
Lots of empathy and compassion.
Everyone wanted to make it better, but there is only so much you can do.
My flowers are hanging upside down on my wall; drying out so I can save them forever, because that is how long i am hoping the sentiment lasts for. Forever used to mean three years tops, but I think my definition is changing in the most beautiful of ways.
Now is the time when change comforts me the most, the change from winter to spring, from flowers in bloom in a vase, to dried and preserved hanging on the wall, from dependence to independence, from warm sweaters to short sleeves and hurrying to get inside to slow walks around the campus, enjoying the sun.
We tend to be singular in the winter, we pull back from the group, put a wall up to protect from the cold, but also from anyone else's attempt at warmth.
Is that what he meant by change? Somehow I think not.
Thank God for everything and pray for everything. Something to think about.
