3:25 p.m. - 2009-01-13
now i lay me down to sleep....
Laura's cancer spread to her pancreas. That means she has a 5% chance of survival. Her uncle died from that same cancer and her treatments have become a lot more painful. She goes at 4 in the morning on wednesdays and the treatments have become so painful that they have to put her to sleep.
We both got sad talking about it, so I made her laugh. She said she's getting scared and I told her I'll be here with her. We pinky swore that she wasn't dying.
I wish the world took pinky swears as serious as I do.
I was overwhelmed Friday night, so I just cried a lot and no questions asked, I got hugs all night. We just pretended nothing was different.
Saturday Matt was sick so he came over and I tried to take care of him. He had a fever and kept waking up screaming and unable to breathe and panicking and not knowing where he was. He would yell in his sleep and he seemed to be having hallucinations. So when he would get nervous when he woke up, I would hug him and he would go back to sleep.
Classes are good, mostly interesting. Step aerobics is killing me. I'm taking out my frustrations in life at the gym. And I've stopped caring entirely about what other people say and their affect on my life.
Sometimes you reach a point where being friends with someone is simply more hassle and more work than the friendship is worth.
Here's praying for miracles.
