10:00 a.m. - 2008-05-13
Some kind of something. The heat would help.
She even wants the same cross as her.
I decided I am my biggest problem. I keep losing hope and that is just not the way to deal with life. But I don't think it's reasonable to do this all with a fucking smile either.
So I sleep more and stay to myself and it's been only a little over a week and I'm back to my old dosage.
I want to go to Castle Island and roller blade, or even just watch the planes. I love watching planes take off. If we were on that particular plane, where would we be when we landed? What would we do? Who would we be?
I am going to stop the messages and my end of contact, not because I really want to but because I do not want things to not be mutual. I don't deal well with that, so I will stop. And I'll probably end up very moody about it, but I'll keep that to myself.
They made special visiting hours for us so we can see her for half an hour. I'll go back tonight, even if I'm alone.
