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7:29 p.m. - 2008-04-24
Finally finals week.
It was gorgeous today.
It was Kevin's last day of work.
It was Brandi's birthday.
We had a little celebration at work for those two reasons and I made them both cards.
I am sleep deprived, frustrated, and everything is feeling pretty exhausting...especially phone calls from home begging me to be a role model.
Don't look up to me.
It's breaking me inside again. I don't get it. I was taking the meds all week and not sleeping and getting exhausted, so I stopped and now I am a wreck.
In my head, this all works out differently.
You know those people who will tell you they're going to do something, but then they don't want it to seem like they're never busy or that you're too important or something, so they stall? Well, he's not like that at all, which is really cool.
It's supposed to rain here all next week, which bums me out not for my sake, but because I want people to believe me when I say that when it's nice here, it is gorgeous.

I can't put any more information in my sleep deprived mind, but I really have to focus on doing that and nothing else. No sleep, food, or conversation.....unless the conversation finds me.

I wish when I met new people, I could just give them a list of the things that don't make sense about me. A list of ingredients or warnings of some sort. For example, if you spend the night telling me your most ridiculous and embarrassing stories, don't expect me to return it...not because I can't open up, but because that's just me. I'm listening. And if I look upset after a certain call or text message and you ask why and I attempt to tell you the truth and a little insight into my twisted life...well, take that as something kinda crazy, because it can take a while for me to be honest with people.

Why can't we all just listen to music all day and dance?

I think my entire dorm is moving out before me. Maybe.

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