4:55 p.m. - 2008-04-12
So much anger.
I hate talking to my house and that never used to be how things worked out and I'm kinda disappointed in it.
Puts me in an awful mood, which is unfortunate because i can normally keep myself pretty content.
I don't feel like dancing today and I have cold feet, so I'm not saying anything that I mean to.
In other news, the countdown is getting smaller, the expectations are getting bigger, and I'm making accusations and fairly reasonable guesses at diseases, but hope trumps panic, so we'll just stay hopeful. Okay? yes.
As much as we make fun of the music I listen to and the stupid shows and movies that I totally get hooked on, I'm pretty happy the way I am. You know? Like, I always want to change, but I'm always comfortable in that constant mode of change. I'm confident that I'll change my mind a million more times before I even decide what to do this summer, let alone for the rest of my life and that's okay.
Conversation is failing, or maybe I am? I'm not sure. But if I could place a face for everyone I was talking to, well, I don't know if it would count for anything. What's beneath that? Is there one person who knows everything about you in your life? I doubt it. Really. We all keep secrets. Always.
Can we get passed them? Is that supposed to be past? Should we keep focusing on the past? Nah. If we're going to get passed this, we should look to each other and now.
There was an artist who took a dog off the street and tied him up as on one side of a room and a bowl of food on the other side out of his reach and called it art. The dog died of famine for art and people across the world were outraged and signed petitions and sent emails. Then, it was announced that the dog was not dead and was not even being starved for art purposes. The artist wanted to show that this ordinary dog which lived on the street was already starving and no one cared, but when someone put it in the spotlight and assumed control over the situation, then suddenly everyone showed concern. There are millions, if not poor, starving animals of all kinds around the world, but we accept this. What about people? Those too. When did these things become okay and accepted as normal and how do we stop it? Is art an imitation of life or is life an imitation of art? It's great to spread awareness, but we shouldn't romanticize these things and we certainly shouldn't belittle them. I don't think that was what the artist was going for and I'm not even sure that is what I think of it, but it is worth thinking of.
Maybe I'll start laying down in front of buses and locking arms in front of old buildings. Or maybe I'll just keep thinking of them, but not do a thing, which is of course more likely.
It's a shame how insignificant one person can feel. But Dr. Suess said that a person is a person no matter how small.
Come on over and teach me to dance again?
