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10:56 p.m. - 2008-02-26
pas possible.
pessimistic? self deprecating? not usually.
not too optimistic either, but it's all good.
it's not a word that gets used too often.
but forever is. Modern definition has it at about 4 years now, maybe 4 and a half. I remember when it used to be 3 years.
Now we watch bad girls doing bad things and she has a headache and I have a lot to do and we both just want to sleep.
unreasonable. selfish. ridiculous. blows everything out of proportion.
but truly impossible to get rid of. The shit won't go away. I hope that's how it goes down. Ya know? Yeah, you know.
Honest. Trying to get the whole tough love thing down pretty straight. Just can't stand to be a disappointment.
Would you rather be angry or sad? angry, hands down. It's so much easier. And I can produce so much from it. I will fight when I'm angry. When I'm disappointed, I just crawl back inside.
But at the end of the day, you're only accountable to your memories and when we have nothing to say I get scared, really scared. but you don't understand. Because I am unreasonable.
throwing away chinese food that has been in here for weeks. We call it disgusting. I also call it the side effects of a three week long hangover. We drink to forget.
turn the volume up to 50!
I'm going to dance march away. That's what I titled the new playlist. dance away march. It may just be even harder to handle here. Maybe. I'm not sure. So, no more mellow music...except for sleeping. All dancing. We just have to dance this away okay?
Alone. These people don't know what dancing means. I'll have to show them.
Turn the volume up to 50!!
Tyra show until 1 am and I'm naturally sarcastic. I'm not being serious about this. I can't. 9 + bottles.
code- 3 times the truth.
what's the difference between the ocean and the sky?
How can I get to the horizon? Am I broadening them at all? Who's to judge that?
Miss Paint by Numbers meets Mr. Songs to tie Shoes and when they make friends with Mrs. Sassypants next door, a pillow fight ensues.
What do you want?
Some of my favorite March super-heroes think you want
community
roots
answers
religion
alcohol
love
emotional release
and you probably do.
I probably won't drink at all.
I'm looking for opportunities, because 19 is such an age of possibility and I really believe that.
A little over two weeks. What's it to you?
This is a manual on how to stop progress all together.
I just wrote an essay on how discontentment is necessary to keep the world progressing and improving. I didn't know I was going to write about that until I was done.
I'm not sure if i fully believe that, but it made sense the way i wrote about it.
I keep telling myself that I'm not missable because it makes me feel like i need to stay here and prove myself. So far this semester, I'm proving that I'm really good at failing when I put in my all.
But it's okay. Because if this doesn't work out, it's for a reason. I'm not too afraid because there will always be jobs and I am no stranger to hard work and there will always be a new way to put myself through school or work at something else. Sometimes dreams change and not that mine have, but if i don't make it, I can do something else. everything happens for a reason. And that's not an excuse, it's just me accepting that I can only do what I can and if studying until 4 am isn't good enough, then I'll just have to be mediocre. Some people really like pudding, right?
I haven't been forgetting to be thankful for five things, I've just been ...not needing to remind myself that I'm thankful tonight. Does it make sense? To me, it makes all the sense in the world.

Just remember, left MA to visit PA because I needed tough love.

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