10:49 p.m. - 2007-12-07
Baby, it's cold out there
It's been snowing for about a week now and that's about how long I've bothered to when you talk. It wasn't that I didn't want to, I was just so sad. I was just so upset about everything all the time. I guess I'm not nearly as independent as I'd like to believe. But sometimes people and things and ideas and even places belong to one another. sometimes they need each other. And as much as I didn't want to be in that situation, I am. This is me.
The snow is gorgeous, light and airy, and it falls in perfectly imperfect arrays. It lands on my eyelashes so that I can't stop blinking and it lines my hair in ways that only happens in movies and I twirl in circles down the hill on my way to work. All I can do is just hope that I don't fall and i normally wouldn't care, but who would be here to point and laugh at me?
No one gets up early with me. No way of getting to the beach to watch the sunrise and staying to watch it set or coming back nine million and a half times....because it's my favorite exaggerated number.
I'm sad to say that sometimes conversations interfere with my life. I mean, sometimes I just have a different agenda and enjoy embracing it to the fullest. Sometimes I debate whether to watch Polar Express the second time back to back or watching the first season of Dawson's Creek at 11 o'clock on a Friday night right before finals when I have a research paper to write. And sometimes, I just play songs that my friends from home would mock me for and dance, because i love life and want to live every minute of it.
And I blame it all on the snow. It gives me icicles and they're sorta like butterflies except they're better for this season. The city is colder here so icicles work better. It's colder than home and I have to hug my three layers of clothing close to me while I get my bag strap over my head. My hair is alive with static and my nose races my heart, but my lungs are warm with sweatshirts and coats. My gloves are warm and let my fingers move freely, but it just makes me wish that I had big knit mittens like the ones my Nana used to make because they were sooo.... i want to say happy. Every time I put them on, they made me happy and I would feel loved.
I decided to after halfway through the second showing of Polar Express to watch the first season of Gilmore Girls. Who saw that coming? I just...don't like the first season of Dawson's Creek very much. I was never a Joey and Dawson fan. No matter how much Laura wants it to be her life and combines it with Empire Records, well, I just think that relationships have to have imperfections. Joey and Pacey are perfectly imperfect.
And because I love Alice Walker (Sidenote- I'm going to wear earmuffs and mittens and sit in a park in the winter and read Alice Walker poetry and drink Dunkin Donuts tea someday), I present......
Women
They were women then
My Mama's generation
Husky of voice- Stout of
Step
With fists as well as
Hands
How they battered down
Doors
And ironed
Starched white
Shirts
How they led
Armies
Headragged Generals
Across mined
Fields
Booby-trapped
Ditches
To discover books
Desks
A place for us
How they knew what we
Must Know
Without knowing a page
Of it
Themselves.
-Alice Walker
I hope the snow finds everyone happy and healthy and loving the season!
