9:37 p.m. - 2004-12-26
Clearing up muddy waters- wowie, there was an update before this
Now darling, listen to me as I tell you what you think you know, but you don't have a clue about.
You take offense too quickly and never wait for an explanation. I gave up writing to you around the same time it felt like you gave up wanting to read my letters. You're not the main character anymore. Congratulations, I can't control you anymore. The truth? I never could. I'm just pretty good at playing make believe.
It's not that you weren't wanted. I honestly didn't know what was happening and I didn't know what to say, so I let others talk for me. It was more like I didn't want you to get hurt. I really thought you would have caught onto that. I'm not subtle at all. I'll stop protecting you and we'll see how it goes. If this is me not sending out invites, then so be it. I'll make myself happy.
I agree that no one is at fault, but I also don't think I was the one you were directing any of that towards. I know I'm not the one you write to anymore and that's fine. I stepped down quite gracefully I think, but it seems that saying this is needed- probably more for me then anyone else.
As much as you hate it and food in general, you can't have your cake and eat it too. Well, maybe you can, but not at the same time. No one is going anywhere for good, but the shoulder always gets more cold air then the heart. Maybe we all need a little fresh air.
It's all about fun and running and blowing kisses and tickle fights and snowball fights and baking and cocoa and movies and sleeping late and pillow fights. yeah, that's what it's about....until it's not anymore.
Maybe we should just leave everything as it is, because it will work itself out. No one should ever mess with happiness. I know I won't. I haven't been and see how I turned out?
