9:20 p.m. - 2004-12-22
\"I'm gunna make you love me\"
tonight's song: "she was diagnosed on a friday the kids were almost home the kids were on their way back home from school lying faced down in the gutter of unaccomplished dreams and broken memories of things to come sorry ma'am i really am i have to break the news i have to make the phone call to tell you that you're due you know where and i'll tell you when and i suggest that you start living the next three weeks the best that you can every night for three long weeks she'd roam the hallways half asleep and as the footsteps fade away in my mind i can swear i can swear i heard her say don't wait for me i got a lot to do i got a lot to be and in the end maybe i'll see you there lost her strength on a saturday spent the day in bed yeah i'm fine it's just the flu she said with a smile but when they turned their backs the tears would flow she knew she only had a while to live to breathe to be to see to bleed to stand on her own to weakened feet and so i prayed every day "don't take my mother away" every night for three long weeks she'd roam the hallways half asleep and as the footsteps fade away in my mind i can swear i can swear i heard her say don't wait for me i got a lot to do i got a lot to be when in the end maybe i'll see you there repeat don't wait for me i got a lot to do i got a lot to be and in the end maybe i'll see you there" "As The Footsteps Die Out Forever" - Catch 22 ---------------Part Two---------------- Dear friend, The even days of every month are coded with sarcasm and laced with ribbon candied apathy. It looks too pretty to eat, if you ask me. You didn't. I have an awful lot of holiday spirit tonight. It makes me very happy and smiley because I want to give everyone presents. I wish it was more like winter. I had so much I was going to write tonight and I'm slowly becoming too drained to make the effort. I'm glad that no one can line my z. I wouldn't trust anyone to be able to live up to that. More to me then meets the eye? I don't think you have much to teach and I doubt I'd be able to understand your pupils. Lies. Lilies. You probably have a lot to teach, but I can't listen anymore. There's ten dollars on the table, but it's not mine. The fire is at my heels and I know that when teh water comes down, I'll have teh perfect response to everything you ahve to say. I lie again, because I can. Not really. I'm making this up, because boredom is up killing every cat that curiosity missed and there are only 4 numbers I can count to- 1001, 1002, 1003, 1004. The end. How do you write novels about everything I dream about? It's simple. You dream them up for me. It's a half hour 'till dawn and the smoke from the cold is rising and falling with my chest because I'm still awake. I haven't slept in days, but I like it better this way. Every sixty seconds, I smile because I can and I think it's amazing that I can move my mouth with my mind. It's so much easier to be grateful for everything when you've been awake for days on end. Don't bother trying it, just trust me. I have so much more to say. I wish I had the energy to type it all. Another time I suppose. Sweet dreams, friend. Sincerely, One heart -----------------Part three------------ 2 Days uintil christmas 29 days until I'm on PBS I think I'll play with the play-doh I just found, now. Tomorrow is the last day before vacation. I've baked a lot lately. I wish I had a whisk. I wish someone would play rummy with me tonight. I'm leaving now to finish Christmas thingers. Sweet dreams. [Really now.]
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