8:30 p.m. - 2004-12-01
\"Everyone has gone home to oblivion\"
"Still awake on a winter's day
Skies are grey and it's cold
Smoke signals from my last cigarette
Lets me know that it's finally getting old
Everybody hates me for the night before
The man you saw wasn't me
And now there's blood upon the bathroom floor
I've got a disease.
Wait a while all i need is a friend
Come on stay a while won't you please understand.
I'm fucked up with nothing ahead but the end
I know that I'll never get sober
And I'm fed up with this miserable life after death
I know that I've taken my last breath.
Memories of how it used to be
Painted thick on my walls
Cold illusions pumping through my veins
Felt them there but I didn't hear them call
Washed away all my darkest fears
Shoved them down to my soul
I keep them aged like a vintage wine
I'm sure they'll come out when they're ready to go."
- Mad Caddies
Happy December. What's today's song? I think it should be the lovely song above or "Plane Crash in C" by Rilo Kiley. Hmmm.
Jail made me emotional worn out, well, it probably wasn't only jail, but, that was part of it. I slept for three hours after school. Needless to say, I won't be sleeping tonight. Ever wonder why people say "needless to say" and then say it anyways?
Maybe snow on Friday. Maybe Boston tree lighting tomorrow. Maybe maybe something something.
Wrapping with Ltadl on Friday, which should be enough said and it is.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. For everything? Sure. Why not?
"Please forgive me for laughing at your jokes"
Can't we say we're all in this together?
Four out of seven of the inmates today told us not to trust our friends because they're usually the ones that get to you and they won't be there when you fall.
I was supposed to throw away my dreams today, but someone gave them back. I'm thinking maybe I should throw out my outlook and get a new one, because I can start over as many times as I want and I don't like this one.
I hate cursive r's. Really. If I never had to write another cursive r again, I would be at least a bit happier. I'm not entirely sure if I really hate anything else. I'll let you know if I think of anything, but right now, the only thing in the world that i hate is a cursive r. I can't hate people because it's not fair. The world is filled with good people who do bad things, but there's still a part of them that's good.
"So the more things remain the same, the more they change after all- Plus c'est la m�me chose, plus �a change. Nothing endures, not a tree, not love, not even death by violence."
- A Separate Peace
Constantly being reminded that my days are numbered only makes me want to learn to count to bigger numbers- and I will. I will; because I can.
No one has a right or a reason good enough to be anything besides nice, but since when did I start expecting anyone to be logical? Passion is supposed to be free of logic because logical people say passion and logic don�t mix. If you ask me, they contradict themselves.
What�s the song tonight? I�m thinking �Last breath�. Hmm. It seems like a nice start to the CD. Well, I�ll leave it as that unless I get some input.
Happy December, everyone, and sweet dreams!
