7:15 p.m. - 2004-10-05
Oh stranger, have I met you before?
I feel really really lonely. That's all for now. This could be a drastic life transition, or it could just be a sad little girl who has skinned her knees and it's too early in the morning for anyone to be around to notice. Am I moving too slowly or too fast? I don't know how to do the things that I'm expected to do. Everything seems so aritificial and sugarcoated and overall bittersweet.
Ugh. I'm making such a big deal out of this. I feel stupid. I don't know what I'm doing. None of this matters. Not everything matters. The truth is that no one cares and the only real problem is that no one has problems until we make them for ourselves.
Where's everything that can be counted on? Nowhere near reality. I'm lonely and antsy and feeling pretty darn similar to a stereotypical teen and I hate it. I hate that feeling of misunderstanding that comes with feeling lonely and left behind. I need to find some new people that need me...or that I need, because this chemical equation has been balanced and this mutual lack of needing is getting me down.
That's all for now. Lonliness is far too consuming for words to explain.
