11:22 p.m. - 2004-08-21
I wish i was special
It gets to the point where the only thoughts I can think are: run away. run away. run away. run away. run away.
Breath in. Breath out. Breath in. Breath out. Breath in. Breath out.
Then, I teach myself to pump blood from my heart and to move my limbs and to calm down and to clear my head and laugh and smile and smile with my eyes because if you can't do that then someone will find out and then I remember that I'm not faking for you. I'm faking for me. Then everything stops spinning..because I've closed my eyes and I'm lying on my back on the floor and nothing can spin when I'm there because I'm safe and no one in the world can touch me.
You can't touch me. I am safe. I am safe. I am safe. I am safe.
Good. Do you believe me? Do you believe that I'm okay? I love you for believing me. Thank you.
