8:33 a.m. - 2004-06-26
This was all that you ever thought about
I keep giving in to you and I end up right back at step one and someday I'm gunna be really disappointed and I'll probably cry a lot and I'll feel kinda ruined, except not really, because I won't really notice it happened. My words get lost on the path to your ears. That must be it. Well, I've given in once again and I'll end up hurt, but this is how it's supposed to be. I am stubborn and I will prove I was always right. You'll be the one to get tired of me.
Are we really this far gone? That I need to make up excuses to keep trying? No, we can't be. Maybe I'm just having a bad day. Maybe.
This shouldn't consume my life. It's the stuff that should be acknowledged and confronted, but not talked about every moment and not written about in every entry. What does that say about how much you mean to me?
Lets play the game. Everything is exactly how it used to be. You have been given a second chance. What are you going to do different? Just think, you get to decide our future. The pressure is on. Now you show me what fair is.
I know you think this was to YOU, but it wasn't, it was to me...and you a bit, btu not all to you. Most of the mean stuff was to me, but you may not even be reading this so it doesn't matter. I just thought you'd figure out where somewhere more accepting would be...because I told you that this was a very accepting writing place. Well, if you're reading don't be sad, we'll give it another go. We've been holding on for months, what's a while longer? Some say we're at teh end of our rope, I say we'll tie a knot and hold on.
