12:11 p.m. - 2004-04-25
Perhaps I can't take it anymore
Dear you,
Perhaps I need you. Why aren't you there? I don't know how to be a friend right now because I have no examples. Perhaps, for once, i need someone. I'm shaking and I can't stop and the only time I ever feel anything good is when i feel pain. Maybe I should......No. never. Maybe, maybe I just need to cry. No, even better maybe I need sleep. No, even better maybe I need a lot of sleep. A sleep I'll never wake from. or maybe I need to come down with something they can't diagnose and don't have the cure for. Maybe then you'll see I'm falling apart. I'm so glad we met; we make such lovely, lonely aquaintances. Do you understand now? "everyone who lives will someday die and die alone."
I'm skilled in complaining, but this time I don't care because no one cares to listen so I can complain to myself all i'd like. and you, the one i'm writing this too. I bet you don't care. you never did. Do you even know this is to you?
I had a dream last night and it had a terrible terrible ending. i woke up this morning and the beginning of the dream had come true. If the ending follows suit, then maybe you won't need to hear my complaints anymore. It seems I can't even escape reality in my dreamworld. I guess it doesn't really matter anymore. Just a teenage girl, with a lot of problems and a small amount of sanity. If I'm not back by this time tomorrow, carry on.....
sincerely,
The girl you gave your heart to; your heart of ice and stone.
