2:59 p.m. - 2004-04-05
You sleep so much more soundly to the song of other people's failures
Dear person i thought was a friend,
I died and i took you down with me.
If only i could go back to when crayons made me happy and my best friend was made for just my eyes to see; if only i could go back to when i actually believed that tears of happiness existed and smiles weren't forced and spinning in circles with friends was what it was all about; laughing when you fell and jumping right back up. if only i could go back ...then maybe i wouldn't be sitting here and dedicating my last breath to memories; maybe my heart would still be in one piece and maybe when i looked into those eyes in the mirror i would see more then just a lost cause and a burnt out flame; and maybe when i looked into your eyes you would see more then a failure by design.Life is full of "maybe's" and "if only's"; it's full of surprises and mysteries that only time will tell the answers to, but as i sit here and dare death to show it's face i hold one thought in my mind; if death begins where time ends, then maybe all my questions will finally be answered. So this is where my questions stop; this is where my future becomes clear; this is where everything ends except death; which is really just beginning. I am ready to confront destiny and dare the bitch to take me down, but she wins again. She sees through my dare and instead drops me in the middle of everything; she knows my weakness and instead dares me to live; dares me to confront the unknown. so off i go to face the mysteries that await me, but as i go i bury a part of myself. I'm still daring destiny, but this time i'm daring her to throw me another challenge, instead of daring her to grant me death. I walk away from that part of myself and i leave you behind too. I can't face today if i'm holding onto yesterday too tightly and so here is where our friendship ends; the part where we say goodbye and wish each other a good life. I don't need you anymore and you never needed me. I'd say I'd been losing you for a while now, but you can't lose what you never had and I obviously never had a friend in you. Farewell.
Sincerely,
The one that actually gave a shit about you, yeah, a real friend.
